"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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