He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
