Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
