Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
