You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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