I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
