Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
