watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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