The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize
