I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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