i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
