i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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