Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
