so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
