Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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