Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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