Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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