just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
