I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
