omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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