I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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