im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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