All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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