Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
