The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
