if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
