This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
there is glitter all over my balls
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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