Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
