I've blown a few things in my day
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
