apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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