Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
