Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize