We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
