Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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