dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
