yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My vagina just recognized that song.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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