I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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