You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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