I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
