Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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