As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just had sex on a roof
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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