thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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