And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
