i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
