I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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