Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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