So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
