No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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