I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
