is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just invented taco cereal.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
