Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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