Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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