I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
