I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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