Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have fence marks all over my body
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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