I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
