I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
