Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just wanna soil my oats bro
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
