Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
